"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."
Benjamin Spock, writer of 'Baby and Child Care', 1977
If you wish to increase self-confidence you need to learn that it has a lot to do with attitude aside from ability.
I've known a lot of people who, while they lacked skill in a certain field, completely 'oozed' confidence! I'm not talking about bragging about how superior they are at tennis, or singing, or public speaking - when really they're not. I'm speaking about feeling alright about not being great in those areas and doing them anyway!
A few things are simply not essential enough to fret about - but we do just the same and generate unwarranted tension for ourselves. Whether or not you fall over trying to ice-skate, make a hash of cooking, be unsuccessful at DIY or simply fear that you may not be good at using a PC if you tried it, so you don't - does it actually matter?
Of course there are certain things which are essential! Being good at your profession is certainly one of them; creating good relationships is another. In these instances you must find some methods to aid you.
What building selfconfidence boils right down to is eliminating that voice inside your brain that tells you that you're going to fail if you try, that you're no good at this kind of thing, that you'll make a fool of yourself - or whatever the specific message is that rocks your self-confidence.
These messages don't essentially tell the truth:
They may have been told to you, previously, by other people who had their very own agenda. Sometimes people would say things to put you down so they feel better about themselves!
They could have been your very own version of what someone said. Often what we hear just isn't what is meant, thus if I say "You're not very good at sporting activities", you may hear that as a criticism or somebody saying "You're a failure!"
They might be primarily based on a particular experience you had which prompted you to write down that message in your head yourself. Let's say you tried designing a bookcase once but it didn't look very good once you completed it. Therefore, in your head you believe you're no good at carpentry and will never try again. However you could have acknowledged that this wasn't too bad for your 1st attempt and that you'd most likely improve with experience.
Your own attitude is the factor that can carry you to victory, or defeat you before you even begin.
When you don't think you can do it - odds are very high that you won't. And when you believe all of the destructive messages from the past, you may as well build a brick wall between you and your objectives. (And do not forget, you fail 100% of the opportunities you don't even go for!)
However if you believe you could do it, when you could visualise yourself in your mind doing it, chances are extremely strong that you will do well!
There's a saying: "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at would change." (The half full - half empty glass is an example of this!)
However you do not need to do this on your own, and confidence coaching can assist you to to find alternative ways of looking at things. And the coach would help you to determine your negative beliefs and destroy those brick walls that stand between you and your very own targets. Improving your confidence will undoubtedly help you to realize what you want from life.
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